Bumper Stickers for the Educated

• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

• I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

• I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• Mental backup in progress - DO NOT DISTURB!

• Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

• Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

• Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.